Above Rubies Part 6: Dogmatic Views on Contraception
- mercynotsacrifice
- Feb 19, 2019
- 13 min read
Updated: Jul 23, 2020
Problem #6: Dogmatic Views on Contraception
Nancy Campbell and her followers hold to the idea that the use of any form of birth control is wrong. This is a major point of Quiverfull doctrine. A person can only reach this conclusion (logically) if they also believe several other illogical ideas.
The first is that by preventing pregnancy, you are also preventing a waiting soul from entering its intended psychical body. Things are a lot simpler if you understand that souls are created at the moment of conception (and the occurrence was foreknown by God), but then you would have no argument against the use of birth control. Above Rubies teaches that God has planned for certain people to be born, created them ahead of time, and that our actions can either help or hinder that plan:
“Our 40 weeks start with an unfertilized egg. In the first two weeks, fertilization has not yet taken place. Still, this unfertilized egg is counted as part of the pregnancy. This is more proof that God knows a person before fertilization even happens, and counts the egg as life. God also looks at the male seed in a similar way. Multitudes of times in the Bible, God addresses the seed as though it is already human life.”
“When we hold back conception; when we put a stop to the function of our womb, when we refuse pregnancy; and when we don’t want another baby, we limit the glory of God.”
“God has a plan and destiny for each one of your children, including one you may now be carrying inside you. What a privilege to carry God-ordained destiny in your womb. Isn't it sad when some mothers deny a life to come to being for whom God pre-ordained plans and purposes (Ephesians 2:10)?”
“This poses a question we must face. What about children whom God planned to come into this world and fulfill a certain destiny, but we have said No [sic] to them coming? How many children have been denied existence whom God intended to be born into this world and for eternity? … We who are finite and earthly must beware that we do not hinder the plans our infinite and sovereign God.”
“We would be deprived. The world would be deprived. God would be deprived. Eternity would be deprived. We often forget that when we say No [sic] to one baby, we actually say No to many more people who God wants to come to earth to bless this world. We say No to a whole dynasty.”
“He [Satan] robs families of more children that God has eternally destined for them by contraception, sterilization, and abortion.”
“Recently, a dear friend of mine had a vision, which had a powerful impact upon her, and also upon me when she shared it with me. She shares, ‘In this vision I saw God, as a king and a father, busily wrapping all types of presents. All these gifts were different, no two wrapped alike, and all of them were beautifully adorned in all kinds of paper and bows. I came to understand in my spirit as I watched, that all of these 'gifts' were children. I continued to watch as God went from door to door, home to home, delivering these carefully wrapped packages. My heart began to break as time after time, doors were opened and closed in His face, denying the gift God brought. Some were very nice in their response, explaining that they were too busy right now to receive any gift - maybe later. Others were downright rude, slamming the door in disgust, and some would take the gift, look at it and shake it a little, then throw it out the door. I watched as God's heart broke and a tear trickled down the face of this kingly Father. He had spent so much time, love, and excited preparation to create and deliver these gifts...and to what avail? There were a few families who embraced the gift He gave them and a few who were overjoyed that He would deliver it to them personally. However, the majority of the people were unreceptive to the gifts from this loving Father.’”
"Every child we stop from coming into this world, not only deprives the world of that child who has the potential to become a powerful influence for righteousness if brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, but also deprives the world of future dynasties. … Who do we think we are to play God and decide who should be conceived and born and who should not be born? It would be better for us to remain single if we hold the notion that married couples can use whatever means they want to limit the godly seed.”
“Stopping a child from entering the world” before its conception and “refusing a gift God has created” is only possible if the child or gift does already exist. Since the context of that last quote is contraception, not abortion, it reveals that the writers of Above Rubies believe in preconception existence.
Here’s a question: if souls exist before their bodies are created, where are they right now? And when was this time that God had decided to create them? The church of Latter-Day Saints believes that souls always coexisted with God in heaven and that “all men and women lived with God as His spirit children before coming to the earth as mortal beings” (lds.org).
Above Rubies' opinion on this is made clearer when they make statements that equate all forms of birth control with abortion. How can you end the life of something not living?
"How unbelieving and lacking in faith we are who dare to call ourselves the people of God in this generation. It is indeed time for the church of God to repent. Contraception and sterilization serve the same end as abortion—the elimination of the image and likeness of God in the earth!"
"We have to ask ourselves, 'Where is our fear of God relating to contraception, sterilization, and abortion? ... But, I can multitudes [sic] of Christian saying, 'We do not support abortion.' And yet contraception and sterilization accomplish the same ends, by purposefully blocking the godly seed of whom the anti-Christ Pharaoh of spiritual Egypt is still afraid."
Preexistence might be a great theory (it’s not) but that’s all it is, a theory. There is nothing in the Bible to support it, especially not to the point where it’s safe to base decisions and belief systems off of it!
The second idea is that moderating blessings from God is wrong (so having as many children as possible is the right thing to do). That logic cannot go very far. The Bible tells us that wine is another kind of gift from God (Psalm 104:14-15, Proverbs 3:9-10, Isaiah 15:6, etc). Are those who decide to consume it in moderation — or not all — sinning or being selfish? Likewise, we know from the Bible that a spouse is “a good thing” from the Lord yet remaining single is not a sin, and sometimes the wisest thing to do based on the circumstances.
Serene, Nancy’s daughter, argues for having more children:
"Why wouldn't I want more of a good thing? Isn’t it in our human nature to continually desire that which brings joy? … This is one of the main reasons why I don't want to stop receiving beautiful gifts from God. He showers His love upon me with every gift of life He gives. What child puts a limit on birthday or Christmas blessings? 'Daddy, I don't want too many presents! It’s too overwhelming’! I don't want to damn [sic] up the flow of my Father’s love for me.”
In an article titled “WHEN SHOULD WE STOP BLESSINGS?”, Nancy gives an example of common sense being used in this matter and then argues against it:
“‘God does give us the wonderful blessing of children. But he also gave us the wonderful blessing of free will. And I think this includes being able to make a decision that you have had enough children . . . When you as a family decide that you want to focus on the children you have, on raising them up right, on listening to your body when it says 'enough,' on listening to your husband when he says 'enough,' I truly believe this is ok.’ I will admit that these words sound logical and wise. But dear ladies, this is how the enemy tempts us. He does not tempt you with that which is blatantly evil for he knows you would take no notice. Instead, he tempts us with that which sounds wise and good.”
Scripture actually teaches an opposite idea: too much desire of a good thing is a bad thing. Above Rubies has made an idol out of fertility, much like Israel had made it “their glory” as described in the book of Hosea. Proverbs 25:27 says “it is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory” (read #8: Mishandling Scripture for more on this).
The third idea is that large families are God’s will for everyone. This is a great time to point out another inconsistency in their teachings — because they are fundamentalist, Above Rubies believes in “wifely submission”. That means wives are to defer to their husbands on all decisions, because men have a “God given” authority that makes them perpetually in the right. Disagreeing with him is discouraged, but allowed if done very occasionally with a formal appeal. Nancy’s daughter, Pearl, writes about how this works in her marriage:
“Finally, when there is a decision to make that you have strong feelings about, you should feel free to share your thoughts with your husband on the subject. Remember though, as we are told in 1 Peter 3:5, that a wife’s meek and gentle spirit is precious in the sight of God. The way you share your feelings with your husband on the matter will affect his ability to listen. Remind him that you’ll support him whether you agree with his final decision or not.”
However, when it comes to family size, Quiverfull women are so certain that they are in God’s will that it is acceptable to bypass the hard rule of obedience to their husbands and convince them to have more babies than appropriate.
A wife’s health, a lack of finances, the advice of others, infertility, and a husband’s desire are all often not seen by Quiverfull parents as ways that God may be using to indicate his will. In an Above Rubies video called “What If Your Husband Does Not Share Your Desire To Let God Plan Your Family Size?”, instead of recommending respect of the husband’s conviction, Nancy gives advice on how to use the strategy that is most likely to change his mind. In the quote above for the previous point on “refusing blessings”, you saw Nancy disagreeing with the woman who says her husband has the right to say “enough”. Reader testimonies:
"Thank you so much for your Above Rubies website and magazine. They have been an encouragement to me for many years. But thank you most of all for your book, Be Fruitful and Multiply. I bought it at the age of 37. I had three wonderful children, a husband ready for a vasectomy, and a heart longing for more children. Your book, patience, and lots and lots of prayer have brought me to being eight weeks pregnant at the age of 40. I cannot thank you enough for the Bible verses that God was able to use to soften my husband's heart and to encourage me to keep taking the matter to the Lord. We are all so happy.”
"Your magazine changed my life! I found your magazine in desperation when I had myfirst [sic] child and had no idea what I should be doing with her or myself. I prayed and prayed, I drank down the inspiration I received from your magazine and it has changed my life and the life of my descendents [sic] forever. I now have THREE children (my husband originally wanted only one!) and am a stay at home Mama who is going to begin homeschooling (I had no idea about this before and now my husband who was against it is going to let me do it.) PRAISE THE MIGHTY LORD.”
When the Bible is silent on something, every Christian has liberty to decide for himself what is right for their own situation, circumstance, and conscience (Romans 14:1-22, 1 Corinthians 10:23-31). Legalists live in fear of that kind of ambiguity and believe that rules and restrictions should apply to everyone with no exceptions, and that is the attitude you see from Above Rubies when another believer decides not to continue growing their family for valid reasons. I would have a lot less of a problem with Quiverfull if they truly thought that their actions were God’s will for them personally, but their proselytizing indicates that they believe it is wrong for others to not do what they are doing.
The fourth and arguably the most irrational idea is that making any kind of decision related to family planning (other than going off birth control) is manifestation of a grave lack of faith in God. This thought process apparently does not apply to other major life decisions, like deciding whether or not to work for a living.
Often, you’ll hear fundamentalist parents say things like “we decided to let God give us as many children as we should have” or “we trust God with our family size”. Above Rubies provides us with real examples of that language:
“Fathers and mothers are being challenged by God's Word to stop limiting their family size and trust God for the children He wants to give them.”
“We walk in faith as we trust God to provide. It is a faith walk all the way. We cannot do any of it in our own strength. We are totally reliant upon God, every moment of every day. So often we try to do it in our own strength. We try to provide financially in our own strength. Forget trying. Everything to do with mothering is a faith venture.”
“I've had a tubal reversal this summer. I regretted my ligation within 1 year. The guilt I felt taking something into my own hands was unbearable. This helped me realize all forms of birth control is not God's will. I realized that I have no right taking control of something that is not mine. My body is not my own. I was bought at a price and I needed to ask God's permission prior to altering my body, which is really His body. This is something I thought I had God's ok on, but how could He ever be ok with something that limits His power? Birth control should be leaving it up to God's control. When I came to Jesus, I surrendered to Him* (the * is there because I surrendered every part of my life except one—my womb). True obedience requires no asterisks. Now I surrender all to Him. Please keep us in prayer that we would be able to conceive a healthy baby.”
“I went to a ladies retreat, and the whole concept of letting God decide the size of our family was new to me, but it made sense. We trust God with everything else in our lives, but most people don't trust Him with the size of their family. … So we pretty much, at that point, decided to not worry about the numbers, whether we have a large or small family but just basically leave it up to God.”
“I wonder why many couples think that God could not provide for another baby in their family? Is it because we trust in our selves rather than our Omnipotent (all-powerful) God?”
Simplified, those statements mean that any action humans take apart from passive faith is not trusting God (which Nancy calls wicked). I know that sounds insane, but they believe it, albeit probably without realizing it. Take this from Nancy:
“While you try to do it in your own strength, God has to step back and let you do it your way. He can only show you His faithfulness and His provision when you let Him take over!”
However, the irony was lost on her when she wrote this:
“Dear readers, some folks commented on Facebook that we don’t have to worry about voting, but instead just trust God. Yes, I believe in trusting God, but we also must take action. Does a mother sit by when her child is in danger, or nearing a cliff? ‘I’ll just trust God,’ she says as she relaxes. No, she rushes to save her child. She screams out to save her child. She will lose her own life to save her child. God puts this fierce protecting instinct within us to save our children. We should have this same alarm as our nation rushes to destruction, because we want to save our children and children's children.”
It is true God gives conception, but only once in the history of the world has that happened without humans doing their part in achieving it. You cannot deny the responsibility or choice that mankind has in creating life.
I believe God does not so much cause conception as he does allow it. Healthy fertility and unprotected sex are always, naturally, going to result in a baby. That is how God designed it. Would you plant seeds in tilled soil and then refer to the growth as “God’s will” and tell people that God “gave” you the plants? While it’s technically true, maybe it was more from the result of your actions combined with God’s design.
While some may not see much wrong with attributing everything to God or “giving him the glory”, it should be done carefully. The majority of Christians regardless of their views on free will do agree that there are some things that do not come from God, but rather he allows to happen. It’s very presumptuous to assume that what you did was God’s perfect intention. God allows plenty of things he does not desire — just because something happens does not mean it is God’s will — for example, it may not have been God’s will for a Quiverfull family to have 11 children as much as it was their will.
It should be noted that it’s not as much about “trusting God” and “giving him control” as they would like to think. If that were the true motive, you would see a lot less adoption, sterilization reversals, and fertility treatments from Quiverfull families. (Don’t let me completely misrepresent them — I know some Quiverfull women do realize the hypocrisy and choose not to undergo fertility treatments.) Large families are the real intention here, not a family size truly determined by God.
Solutions to the contraception problem are sometimes offered by Quiverfull leaders: the “natural family planning method” and lactation controlled fertility. Not only is NFP usually ineffective, but when it does work as intended, it still prevents pregnancy (which by their logic is forbidden); and it uses a method that the Bible does actually warn about — marital abstinence (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Although NFP does not require abstaining for much longer than a week straight, it is so often inadequate that Above Rubies testimonies reveal that some readers adhere for much longer than that out of desperation. One woman mentioned that she and her husband abstained for 15 months to space pregnancies. This is a great example of how following manmade traditions can cause the neglect of the spirit or letter of actual commands. In that situation, it would have been more Biblical for the reader to be using contraception than to be abstaining for that long.
“Reproductive coercion” is a kind of domestic violence, but it can also be used by religions for the ultimate purpose of control, and it may be wise to view any leader that advocates it with suspicion — especially if they make it a matter of obedience.
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